Sleepless in Beirut

Louise Brown is a worker in Lebanon. Here she shares some of her experiences, fears and hopes about being a mother in one of the world's more volatile countries.

My name is Louise Brown. I am a mission worker in Beirut Lebanon. My husband is a Bible College Lecturer and I am a Mum to two wonderful girls. Jessica is five and Naomi is three.

My husband and I have questioned on various occasions how safe it has been to send them to school and one of those times we chose, for their safety, to keep them at home.

A while ago two large car bombs were detonated in Christian areas of the city. These both resulted in the loss of life. There have been strikes over inflation and riots over power shortages.

The riots of January took the lives of eight young men. People fear a return to the violence of the past as much of the loss of life appears be along the religious fault lines that divide this beautiful and fragile land.

We are convinced that this is where we as a family are called to be. Yet I lie awake at night working out how to protect my children’s innocence from the evil in this world. As I question my decisions I realise that I am in fact very fortunate.

I have the power to make decisions on behalf of my children that those I work amongst do not. As part of my work for BMS I work alongside the teachers in a preschool in one of Lebanon’s twelve Palestinian Refugee Camps.

Last month a family feud within the camp resulted in a gunfight outside the school and bullets entering the building. Fortunately it was on a Friday and so no children were there.

The following week attendance was significantly down as parents such as myself questioned the safety of sending their children to school. Yet the camp where the children live and walk the street is not safe. I have the freedom to decide where I bring my family up and ultimately if required I can leave this country. The people I work alongside many do not have access to passports or even the freedom to live outside of the camps. I lie awake thinking about how to protect my childrens innocence and they worry with the rising inflation how to provide enough food.

I passionately believe in incarnational ministry. Jesus left the comfort and security of heaven to be born as a vulnerable baby in a troubled land. He shared our pain, sorrows and joy. As a follower of Jesus I believe that my family is called to do the same.

If we are to be bearers of God’s love to this troubled land we need to be prepared to live our lives along side people here. That means being willing to make the same hard choices about our lives as they do.

It is hard and at times I find myself shouting at God why me, why my family? I get so cross at the injustice I witness day by day in the camp that I find myself crying. At these points the comforter comes and whispers in my ear that God is crying too.

Click here to read more about Arthur and Louise

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