“Do not be terrified…”

13/08/2008“Do not be terrified…” – sometimes easier said than done in Afghanistan

A BMS World Mission worker reflects on the reality of feeling fearful whilst working in Afghanistan.It’s almost two years since my husband, two young children and I moved from the UK to Afghanistan. So many people have said how brave we were for coming here, but little do they know how fearful I’ve often felt. It’s been hard to share these fears as people have tried using them to discourage us from coming – but is fear a sign that we shouldn’t do something?

Fear is a daily reality for Afghan people. A quarter of children die before their fifth birthday. Eighty-six per cent of women give birth without any professional help. Since the 1980s, natural and human-made disasters have displaced or killed millions of people. Death, sickness, unemployment and poverty are never far away. Life expectancy is a mere 43 years. There are no insurance policies, no welfare state and no back-up plans.

So how do Afghans deal with their fears?

There’s an Afghan proverb that translates, “What my heart desired didn’t happen; what God wanted was really done.” Most Afghans are fatalistic – they are cautious to plan for the future and couch any future arrangements with the words, “God willing”.

They have experienced little control over the events that have guided their lives and bury their grief and fears. I know a woman whose son was killed by the Taliban and whose daughter, aged 14, was taken away to be a Taliban wife. We have cried together but she says she cannot talk about it with her family.

And what about me? How have I dealt with my fears? I’m still dealing with them. There is much to be feared about life here. Since we’ve been here I’ve heard two nearby bomb explosions, been stuck in a traffic jam because a bomb exploded further up the road, had several near misses on dangerous roads, had scorpion bites and a few health scares and a fellow student in the language school was kidnapped – I don’t think my fears are entirely misplaced.

But, I know if I am to live and serve God here, fear cannot have a grip on me – so I have to bring my fears to God. I’m in good company when it comes to people feeling fearful about what God wanted them to do – Moses, Gideon, Jonah and David all spring to mind.

God told Joshua not to be terrified: “For the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go”. I believe God wants us here for this time and I know he is with us as he gives me peace to survive.

As I look back over these two years I am overwhelmed with gratitude that I have had the opportunity to be here; to share life with Afghan people, to learn from them and from God in a way I wouldn’t have if I hadn’t left my comfort zone.

I’ve come to realise that walking a different path, despite fears, isn’t a sign of irresponsibility if it’s the path God has called me to. He will be with me and therefore I can proceed with confidence.

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