"He found me in my abandonment!"

Abandonment

My name is Vlora, I'm from Kosovo and come from a Muslim-background. My family never thought about 'who is God?' or 'does God love us?'.

 

When I was one year old my mother abandoned us and my father re-married. Two years later, my father moved abroad and his wife followed soon after. For a while, believing my stepmother was my mother, I was confused as to why my 'mother' would leave me.

 

I was sent to live with my grandmother. Life was tough as I was forced to endure continued torment from neighbourhood children because I was abandoned.

 

Kosovo war - life as a refugee

In 1998 the war started in Kosovo and my grandmother died. That year was the worst year of my life. I went to live with my uncle's family and we were forced to flee into the mountains where we slept for a week. Soon after, we were sent to a refugee camp in Vlora, Albania.

 

Rejection

Three months on in the refugee camp, I was playing when I saw a man in a long coat coming towards us.  I ran to my uncle (whom I was calling father) who pinched my cheek and said: "Listen, I will always be your father but your true father is this man here". It was like a dream I could not escape.

 

I avoided my biological father and ran to bed.  Suddenly the door opened, my biological father sat near my bed and said, "My daughter! I feel bad that I didn't see you growing! I feel bad that you've suffered so much! It's entirely your mother's fault!"  These words of course hurt me very much. In spite of this, we began to warm to each other, but after two weeks my father returned overseas again, throwing me into confusion.

 

Eventually my uncle's family and I went back to Kosovo and one year later my father returned with his wife and children.  I went to live with them, but my stepmother made it difficult for me so I decided to leave.  My father didn't try to stop me. Subsequently I lived in several orphanages; there were no visits from my family.

 

Finding Christianity

During this time I began a new school which was near a Christian bookshop.  I became angry that there were Christians here because I knew that the Serbs, who had caused much suffering during the war, were Christians. On the other hand, I loved to read so wanted to find out more about these Christians.

 

One day, a friend and I agreed to go to the bookshop. When I entered I saw several youths who had so much love; they were laughing with a joy that I had never had.  Upon leaving, an inner voice compelled to me return. I was given the New Testament and began to read.

 

New hope

While reading I found an awesome verse which said: 'If you seek me with all of your mind and heart, you will find me' (Deut 4: 29). I sought God, and the verse from the Gospel of John: "For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life"- this made me realise how much God loves me.

 

Prior to this I was convinced that no one in my life had loved me, but I was wrong, God loved me from the day I was born, he cared so much for me, more than I could imagine.

 

At this time I had to leave the orphanage. I was alone. I had no optimism, except in Jesus, who became my only hope. I understood how much God loved me. God was becoming my father.

 

After a month I went to the church pastor and I told him I wanted to accept Jesus into my life.  God became my shepherd and my life was filled with a new joy.  

 

'The Lord is my shepherd'

My life immediately started to change. I became part of church life and led the children's meeting. Now I am involved with Christian radio and pray there will be Christian radio in Kosovo. I always dreamed about working in radio and now God has placed this in my life.

 

I'm very glad that God became my father, that I have a big family and that I can work and serve for the glory of Jesus Christ.